FUNNY2 - Actual Auto Insurance Statements

September 6, 2013 – 11:11
Greed is the Creed: US Health Care System Mission | Donna SiCKO s Blog

Actual Auto Insurance Statements

Direct from insurance companies

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

Going to work this morning, I drove out of my driveway straight into a bus. The bus was 5 minutes early.

Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably voodoo.

I realized the engine was on fire from the smoke under the hood. I took my dog and smothered it with a blanket.

I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight.

I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.

In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.

As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman...as he bounced off the roof of my car.

No witnesses would admit having seen the mishap until after it happened.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke.

No one was to blame for the accident, but it would never have happened if the other driver had been alert.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

The car in front hit the pedestrian, but he got up so I hit him again.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight.

I was driving along when I saw two kangaroos copulating in the middle of the road, causing me to ejaculate through the sun roof.

I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.

The telephone pole was approaching, I was attempting to swerve out of its way, when it struck my front end.


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Source: www.funny2.com

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Funny insurance statements part 1

2009-04-21 10:24:36 by BuckFutter

The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car
drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest
words. These instances of faulty writing serve to confirm that even
incompetent writing may be highly entertaining.
Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.
I thought my windows was done but I found out it was up when I put my head

Insurance Claims

2010-12-03 03:12:43 by obelix77

The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest possible words. The instances of faulty writing serve to confirm that even incompetent writing can be highly entertaining.
1. Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
2. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.
3. I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.
4. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
5. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face

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